Friday, May 21, 2010

Hair Aware.

(This post is going to get personal and reaaaaally ranty, so beware. Heh.)

Ok. There's been something I've been wanting to talk to ya'll about now for some time. It's always there, staring at me in the photos I take... glaring me down and mocking me, saying, "You'll never tame me. You'll never make me look how you want!"

Yep, you guessed it. My hair.

Some of you have asked me about my beauty routine, and I always have to admit that I am no beauty expert. It's not that I'm ignorant to the ways of beauty routines and "tricks of the trade" (I've tried it all, trust me), it's that I have this horrible and narcissistic belief that no one in the world can understand how annoying it is to have my skin tone/hair texture/etc, etc, and nothing the magazines or beauty experts ever recommend works for me.

I really wish I could be proven wrong here, but honestly? I've yet to find the "right" solution to make me happy.

Thankfully, my skin tone has improved over the past few years (I struggled with pretty bad cystic acne for most of my younger life and really, up until about 1 1/2 years ago.) Despite the clear-up, I still have rather blotchy, red skin that's pretty uneven and some scarring that makeup doesn't always hide. But the best thing about that is it's correctable. I plan on doing some treatments to even out my skin tone soon. And it's not near what I feared it would be. I'm lucky I didn't get more scarring!

The one thing I can't change? The one thing I really, really despise? My hair. It's coarse and wavy/curly, but not the kind you can just quickly blow dry with a diffuser and let it go. Or even the kind that holds a nice curl. It's the kind that needs some serious time and TLC to get it right. And then, it usually doesn't last. It will frizz back up, or the curl will fall, or something to make me angry. And, as you can tell, straightening works (and is frankly the easiest to do), but it's so incredibly thick that it usually looks poofy anyway because there so damn much of it. I've tried every hair cut known to man and every color... just to find something that might be what works for me. And I even went to a really, really expensive stylist for a long time, assuming experts could help me. But still, no perfect haircut, no perfect color. Still struggling with the same complaints.

And I detest the articles in magazines that give you THREE EASY STEPS TO BEACHY, SEXY HAIR! ANYONE CAN DO IT! LOOK AT HOW EEEEEEAAAAASY THIS IS!! because what they recommend would make me look like a crack-addicted Pomeranian who hasn't had a cut or brush in years. Faaaaantastic, beauty editors. Great.

I know this is one huge self-pity-party and I sound a little like an ungrateful bitch and I apologize for that, but having a blog and posting pictures of myself always makes me more aware of the things I like/don't like. Don't get me wrong, here: I don't hate how I look. I'm not saying I'm ugly and I'm not looking for reassurance. I'm just irritated because I would like to fix it but am totally. confused. as. to. how. to. do. that. Maybe I should just accept it for what it is, but it's hard for me (*coughPERFECTIONISTcough*) to just accept when I'm not happy with something. I always think there's an answer for everything, but I'm going to have to face the facts: sometimes, there is no "right" answer and we gotta work with what we got. And maybe even learn to love it, somehow... somehow... :)

Yesterday, I decided to play around with my curling iron to try waving it, again. And again, I really liked the initial results! :

... but then, I brushed my fingers through it, and wouldn't ya know? It was pretty much gone. Two seconds later and gone. And I had a fun little weird kink on the left side that stuck around, just to piss me off. 
 (bye-bye, waves. Sigh. And you should have seen it just 10 minutes later. It looked like I got in a fight with a rabid raccoon and lost. OK, hyperbolic, whatever :) )

I'm sure I'm not alone. We all have things we hate, and I've really yet to meet a girl who doesn't want different hair. And the trouble with falling curls is definitely not a new phenomenon (I'm sure many of you have the same problem, since it's pretty common.) But still, it's quite a frustrating matter! I'm trying to accept, really, truly I am. But just bare with me a little while, because it's a work in progress. :)

[outfit deets:
top: urban outfitters leopard tank
sweater: nordstrom BP cardi
jeans: hudson bootcuts
shoes: steve madden flat sandals and liliana bow pumps
necklace: f21 teardrop necklace]


  1. Seriously Justine, it sounds like our hair is exactly the same.... mine is sooo thick, coarse and frizzy, (and super dry) the ONLY thing I can do is straighten with a big ol round brush and dryer (I skip the straighter)...

    The only way I can keep curling iron curls is by spraying hair spray while they are wrapped, wait 10secs, then let go - then dont touch them. at. all. hahah..

    I've battled with my hair for years... the past two years its started making a turn around because I stopped all coloring (just dried it out even more)... and started using SLS Free shampoo and conditioners... The No Frizz by Living Proof at Sephora has worked the best out of all the ones I've tried, but I know a lot or people have other faves...

    No worries on the pity party... I feel your pain. Love the OOTD, esp the shirt...

  2. It took me a very long time to find a hairdresser that knew how to work with my hair.
    And it still takes me 45 min to an hour to blow it out section by section, which = 2 hours dressing/readying time in the am.
    The things we do to look good...

  3. First off- I love the grey animal print pair with that shade of purple.

    also- your hair sounds a lot like my friends- never stays curly or straight unless kept in completely perfect conditions and not touched. Mousse helped her a lot when she curled it, it seemed to make it stiffer and thus hold the curl better. Dunno if you've tried this but I thought it might be worth suggesting :)

  4. Thanks! I think I want what I can't have-- those smooth, relaxed waves that look like they have no product in it. I cna make it curly, and it will stay, but it takes forever and a lot of product. So I guess I shouldn't really complain since I can do it with work and time, but I just want what I can't have. Makes for a predicament. :)

  5. Oh my goodness! I thought I was the only one with evil evil hair that is out to get me (or at least make me miserable). I always give up and just either pull it back in a ponytail (which I first have to spend an eternity straightening) or just wrap it in a bun. Sometimes I threaten my hair that I am going to just shave it all off and just buy a variety of wigs.
    I had my hair done for my sisters wedding and by the time of the ceremony it had !poof! all fallen out. I ended up just pulling it back into a ponytail. Waste of $$ and time.

  6. i have curly hair too that does not do well with a blow dryer, diffuser or keep curl in it from a curling iron. here is how i've made peace with my hair. first, i wash my hair at night. i work a couple of pumps of redken ringlet 07 curl perfector through it. i then put it in a high pony tail on top of my head and scruch it a few times. then i go to bed like that with it in a pony tail and wet. in the morning, i take it down, shake it out and have a headfull of soft curls. i've also started using some pantene treatment (can't remember the name) 2x's/week and it helps with the frizzies.

  7. You have the same hair as my little sister! She has coarse, thick, curly hair.... And after many years of stressing about it she gets her hair chemically straightened, and it works! She has a much more loving relationship with her locks now :) Happy Friday!

  8. Alright love, I know this is not what you want to hear - but I love your hair. Me thinks it's gorgeous.

    That being said, BB Styling lotion keeps my curls pretty bouncy. Have you tried that leetle product?

  9. i have very, very similar hair- putting longish layers in mine helps- but I ALWAYS straighten it- on the morning of an exam a few weeks ago, I wore it curly/frizzy because I didn't have time to straighten it- and 5 or 6 of my classmates complimented it (it was just in a messy bun) so it really may not be as bad curly as you think (i thought it looked awful that morning)

  10. I feel your pain Justine! I really, really do, I swear! I am the exact same way, and my hair texture sounds very similar to yours. I'm great at makeup, but forget hair! I don't even know how to curl it properly. It's just one giant frizz ball, and it pisses me off constantly! Well at least we know we aren't alone ;)

  11. :( Boo for hair that doesn't keep! I love the styling of it in the pictures, my hair does the same thing, looks awesome and then decides it wants to be straight again! BUT, I love me some hot rollers! Maybe you can try those out and see how they work. I use a basic cheap-o set from Target & mist it like crazy w/ hair spray, at the end of the day i just have some nice volume, which still keeps me happy :)

  12. Justine you should get the brazilian/keratin treatment. trust me it will change your life. its not a straightner it just takes out the frizz/unruliness out of the hair. i got it last august and it seriously changed my life! only thing that really helps i swear. aunt mariann and lauren also get it done too. we all love it! totally fixes the bad bolmarcich hair problem!


  13. your hair looks fab
    have you considered getting a brazilian keratin treatment?

  14. Hi Justine! I'm new to your blog and just wanted to comment on this post. First off, I have awful skin (acne) too and it's just a constant struggle. It seems like everyone I know has beautiful, clear skin. I'm 37 and haven't starting using anti-aging products b/c I'm always trying to clear my skin, so now I'm looking OLD in addition to red and bumpy! LOL And for hair--I was using a Conair curling iron for years and the curl never lasted no matter what I did. My hair stylist said only a professional curling iron will create curls that last, so I got a Hot Tools curling iron from a local beauty supply store and she was right! I can curl it (using product before and hairspray after--love Elnett hairspray!) and the curls last ALL day! I do have different texture hair than yours (hate mine, too, though) but the difference was in the curling iron--not my hair! I use it on heat setting 8 (10 is the hottest) and hold it for about 15 sec. What kind of curling iron do you use? (Maybe you already use a prof. one? and I'm no help at all! :P) You still look beautiful to me either way!

  15. Justine, it's funny, because I always think of you as someone who is perfect looking (seriously, I do). I've struggled with cystic acne, too, and have the scars to prove it, although it could have been much worse.

    AND I relate to your hair issues. Mine is very thick, wavy, and super-frizzy. In my case, also very fine and I cannot do much with it. I have to let it do what it wants to do (waves). I've made de-frizzing my focus, and Jonathan Freda Frizz-Ease helps with that.

    Btw, sometimes you can use product and not look like you do, especially if you use it on wet hair. I put styling gel in my hair after washing. It's more manageable but looks the same otherwise. No one would guess how much effort and product I put into my hair these days! But I can see the difference.

  16. amber's notebookMay 22, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    Omg your hair looks amazing! I am so jealous of how much you have and the length. I have the thinnest hair in the wolrd, so not the same problem but I horrible at doing my hair. most of the time I just don't. Oh and you are gorgeous <3

  17. I think your hair always looks gorg and the color goes well with your coloring. But I totally get what you mean--I have flat lifeless hair and have always wanted Topanga Lawrence bouncy hair. My coworker has the most perfect haircuts and looks like a glamour queen all the time and it's hard not to feel like an ugly duckling next to her. One day we need to both find our personal haircuts and stylists that can do them!